In session this week, my client, Brian, told me he was having trouble getting himself to refrain from eating while he was cleaning the kitchen after dinner. Brian explained to me that he and his wife split household duties, and while she was in charge of most of the cooking, he was in charge of the kitchen clean up. Unfortunately, Brian really disliked kitchen cleanup duty, and he used food (eaten standing up) to procrastinate getting started. Brian realized that he would eat more (also standing up) while he was cleaning as a means to make the task more pleasant.
To help Brian with this, I first asked him, “What goes through your mind when you think about cleaning the kitchen?” Brian told me it was something like, “I hate that I have to do this. This stinks. This is so annoying.” Upon hearing this, it was no surprise to me that Brian had such trouble getting himself to start cleaning the kitchen; it was clear that he was making it so much harder for himself by telling himself such negative things. I asked Brian if there was a way in which he could reconceptualize kitchen duty and make it more pleasant. Brian and I talked about this further, and Brian told me that one of his values was being a good family member and taking care of his family. His wife does many things to take care of the family, and his cleaning the kitchen was one way in which he could do the same. We agreed that instead of viewing kitchen duty as a hated and inconvenient task, he would instead view it as an important way in which he was being a good family member. Instead of telling himself, “I hate cleaning the kitchen, this stinks,” we decided that Brian would tell himself, “I’m being a good family member by cleaning the kitchen. It’s great that I get to take care of my family in this way.” Brian made a Response Card with this idea and agreed to read it every night after dinner.
We then discussed what other strategies Brian could put in place to make the cleaning more pleasant. I asked Brian how long it actually took to clean the kitchen, and Brian guessed it was about 20 minutes. “Although,” he told me, “It would probably be even less if I didn’t waste time eating while I was doing it.” We agreed that as a first strategy, he would time how long it actually took. Brian guessed it might be only about 10 minutes. We then decided that he would do something like put on music, or listen to a podcast on his phone, while he was cleaning. That way, he’d have something interesting to focus on and would be less likely to turn to food to make the task more pleasant.
With these strategies in place – changing his thoughts about cleaning the kitchen and reading a Response Card before he got started, timing how long it takes, and listening to something pleasurable while he cleaned – Brian felt confident that he could get himself through kitchen cleanup without eating.