Deborah Beck Busis, LCSW, Director, Cognitive Behavioral Wellness Coaching Program

Mother’s Day often comes with flowers, cards, and maybe a little extra appreciation. And moms may have some extra leisure time that day, too, which provides a good opportunity for them to think about how they can improve their sense of well-being. One important part of well-being is self-care. A good question for moms to ask themselves is, “Am I taking care of myself the way I want to?” Research shows that small, intentional habits supported by Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) strategies can make self-care feel more manageable for caregivers, even on the hardest days. With CBT, Mother’s Day can be an important time for awareness, compassion, and making small but meaningful changes.

The Reality: Unique Challenges Caregivers Face

Moms and other caregivers are often balancing a relentless mix of responsibilities: work, caregiving, household management, and all of the emotional labor that accompanies motherhood. It’s no surprise that healthy habits can slip down the priority list. But beyond time constraints, moms often experience unhelpful thought patterns that can get in the way of prioritizing their health and wellness.

Working mother taking notes while her daughter is sitting on her lap.

Some common thoughts include:

  • “I don’t have time for myself.”
  • “Taking care of me is selfish.”
  • “If I can’t do it perfectly, it’s not worth doing.”
  • “I’ll start when things calm down.”

These thoughts feel true—but they can quietly reinforce patterns that keep busy moms stuck. In CBT, we help clients understand how their  thoughts influence their behavior.

The good news is that while busy schedules and interfering thoughts can make it hard for moms to prioritize their health, most moms also have strengths and resources that make them uniquely equipped to succeed:

  • Strong sense of purpose: Wanting to be healthy for their kids is a powerful motivator.
  • Built-in structure: Kids create routines like meals, bedtimes, and extracurricular activities that can become anchors for their own habits.
  • Modeling mindset: Practicing self-care provides an opportunity to teach children that health and wellness are important.
  • Resilience and flexibility: Most caregivers have to be adept at problem-solving, a helpful skill that can aid in behavior change.

In my wellness coaching work, I help clients lean into these strengths. Instead of asking, “Why is this so hard?” I ask, “What are you already doing well that you can build on?”

From All-or-Nothing to Flexible Thinking

A core CBT skill is identifying and responding to unhelpful thoughts with more accurate and helpful ones.

For example:

  • Old thought: “I don’t have time for a full workout.”
    New thought: “Something is better than nothing—10 minutes still counts.”
  • Old thought: “I’ve already blown my diet today.”
    New thought: “One choice doesn’t define the whole day.”
  • Old thought: “I should put everyone else first.”
    New thought: “Taking care of myself helps me show up better for my family.”

Many people underestimate the power of realistic, helpful thinking in supporting their goals.

Helpful CBT Strategies for Busy Caregivers

If you’re a mom—or a caregiver of any type—looking to eat healthier, start a regular movement practice, cope with stress, or get more restorative sleep, consider these practical CBT-based strategies.

1. Think Small (and Specific)
Big, vague goals like “get healthy” are hard to act on. Instead, choose something concrete:

  • Walk for 10 minutes after dinner
  • Add one vegetable to lunch
  • Go to bed 15 minutes earlier

Small changes are more sustainable and build momentum.

Mother embracing her son while working on a computer.

2. Use “If–Then” Planning
This CBT-informed strategy helps you follow through, even when life gets chaotic:

  • If my afternoon gets busy, then I’ll do a five-minute stretch before bed.
  • If I feel the urge to stress eat, then I’ll pause and take three breaths first.

“If-then” planning reduces decision fatigue and makes habit change more probable.

3. Pair Self-Care with Existing Routines

 Link self-care activities with chores or behaviors you already do daily. This practice, called “habit-stacking,” can cue you to practice new habits while making them a part of your routine.

  • Stretch while your kids do homework
  • Practice mindful breathing during school pickup
  • Prep a simple healthy snack while making the kids’ lunches

4. Watch the “All-or-Nothing” Trap
Missing one workout or making one less-than-ideal food choice doesn’t undo your progress. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s consistency over time.

5. Make It Values-Based
Instead of focusing only on weight or appearance, connect your habits to what matters most:

  • Energy to play with your kids
  • Being present and patient
  • Long-term health to be there as they grow

This creates motivation that lasts.

From a CBT perspective, change comes from awareness, flexibility, and repeated small steps toward a desired life. This year, ask yourself: “What’s one small way I can take care of myself today—and what would make it easier to do it again tomorrow?”

Do you need help achieving your personal health goals, managing stress, improving sleep, or beginning and sticking to an exercise program? Our Wellness Coaching program can help you with this and much more! We offer one-on-one coaching, live and recorded workshops and webinars, group coaching, and online resources to help support your wellness journey. Learn more and get started today!

Learn More About Wellness Coaching at Beck Institute