There’s Still Time to Join Us in Our Advanced CBT Strategies for Weight Management Webinar Series!
Registration for our first weight management webinar series of the year is closing soon! Join Program Director Deborah Beck Busis, LCSW, beginning in March 2023 and dive deeper into topics like food pushers and family challenges, psychological traps, travel and eating out, and long-term habit maintenance.
Here is an important reminder: doing your “best” looks different day to day. Not every day looks the same. What’s reasonable to expect yourself to do on some days is not necessarily reasonable on other days. This is a discussion I had with my client Mara this week. A few months ago, things were going really well for Mara. She had learned many of the CBT skills needed to gain control over her eating and was implementing them daily. She felt great about her newfound ability to eat sitting down, eat slowly and mindfully, make a food plan and stick to it, and she was giving herself credit for all of it.
Then, things got harder. Mara’s daughter was in a scary car accident, and her husband developed some health problems. Mara found out she had to get surgery. For the first few weeks, Mara struggled a lot. She wasn’t sleeping well and found that not only was she more drained during the day (and therefore had less mental stamina to fend of sabotaging thoughts), but her cravings also increased – which often happens for most people on days following nights of poor sleep. Through a lot of hard work, some new Response Cards, and a revised plan, Mara got things mostly back under control. She worked hard to remind herself why it was worth it to her to continue working on these skills in the midst of such a stressful time, and she connected with how much better prioritizing her health made her feel.
When Mara and I met this week, I thought she was going to feel good about how the last week had gone, but that turned out not to be the case. Instead, Mara lamented to me about how different her eating looked now than it had a few months ago (she was relying on prepared and frozen foods more and cooking less) and how little exercise she was getting (due to an injury that is requiring surgery in two weeks).
“I just feel like I’m not doing my best,” she said. The truth was that she absolutely was doing her “best” – it just happened to look differently than her best a few months ago. The “best” she could do when things were calm and life was relatively easy may be different than the “best” she could do when she was facing numerous stressors and an injury. The “best” she could do on a travel week may look different than the “best” she could do on a week she’s at home. The “best” she could do on a Monday working in her office may be different than the “best” she could do on a Saturday with multiple social events.
In short, Mara was trying hard. She was using her tools and doing her best, even though it looked different from a few months ago. And once she, her husband, and her daughter are all on the mend, her “best” may change once again. If you’re feeling down on yourself, remember that the best you can do looks different day to day. Give yourself credit for all the great things you undoubtedly are doing, and make sure what you’re expecting of yourself in this moment, on this day, is reasonable.