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This week, I met with my client, Lauren, right after she returned home from a 10-day cruise. Before she left for the trip, we had discussed plans and strategies for how she would manage her eating. We knew it wouldn’t be easy for Lauren to be in an “all you can eat” situation for such a long period of time, so we did our best to prepare her for it. While on the trip, Lauren felt really good about her eating choices the first few days, but as the trip wore on, things got harder and harder for her. By the time she returned home, she felt completely off track.
When I met with Lauren, she was doing what many people do after getting home from a trip and feeling discouraged by the number on the scale. She was spending a lot of time and energy beating herself up for having gotten off track. I told Lauren that last summer, a similar thing happened to me—because, of course, I’m human and I still make eating mistakes! I was on vacation and felt my on-track muscle weaken as the days went on. By the time I got home, I got loud and clear feedback from the scale that I had been overeating. But instead of beating myself up, almost all of my energy went into focusing on what I could do that very moment and that day to start feeling better. I wasted maybe 2% of my energy on beating myself up, and put 98% of my focus on having a good day that day.
I reminded Lauren that the past is in the past. We can’t change anything we’ve already eaten or drunk. The only thing we can control is what happens from this moment on, so that’s where 98% (at least!) of our focus needs to be. I discussed with Lauren that spending most of her time and energy beating herself up makes her feel worse, lowers her mood, undermines her confidence, and makes getting back on track harder. Besides, Lauren doesn’t deserve to beat herself up. She’s human and she made some mistakes and that’s part of the process.
Lauren told me that she liked the 98/2 strategy and made a Response Card to help her remember it:
Any time I get off track or have a bad day, remember the 98/2 strategy: 98% of my energy needs to be on focusing on what I can do to start feeling better and have a good day. I’m allowed to spend no more than 2% of my time and energy beating myself up because it doesn’t help anything and only makes things worse. It’s not important that I never make mistakes, it’s only important that when I do, I focus on getting back on track.
This 98/2 strategy can be helpful anytime you make a mistake or get off track, whether in a big or small way. Keep reminding yourself to put your energy and focus on what you can control – what happens from this moment moving forward—and not on what is in the past!