In a session this week, my client Emily and I discussed her upcoming beach trip. During vacations in the past, Emily has had a very difficult time staying on track – partly because she would buy into the “vacation mindset.” In other words, Emily believed that enjoying her vacation involved eating and drinking all the things she wanted, whenever she wanted to have them, and that not being able to do so would make her vacation worse.
This is a classic example of the “belief/reality disconnect.” In simple terms, what many people think will make them feel good (such as eating and drinking with no restrictions on vacation) actually doesn’t (when it leaves them feeling overly full, out of control, and worried about gaining weight). The reverse is also true: the things that many people imagine won’t feel good (such as following some type of reasonable eating plan while on vacation) actually help them feel great!
To help Emily figure out how she wanted to approach her upcoming trip, we examined how similar vacations had gone in the past and how she had felt during and after them. Emily described three vacations where she had used a “no holds barred” approach – having no food or alcohol plan and putting no restrictions on her consumption. Across all three of those instances, one thing became very clear: the “vacation mindset” hadn’t resulted in her feeling good. In our conversation, I reminded Emily that “Wherever you go, there you are.” The same things that make her feel good at home are the same things that will make her feel good on vacation, and the same things that don’t make her feel good at home won’t make her feel good on vacation either.
After discussion, Emily decided that she didn’t want to have a “no holds barred” trip – she wanted a vacation she would be able to feel good about both during and after. She no longer bought into the “vacation mindset” because she was able to see clearly that the fantasy didn’t measure up to reality. We worked together and came up with a reasonable and realistic plan for her eating and drinking on the trip. Emily even took it one step further and said she wanted to come up with an exercise plan, too! Previously, Emily had bought into the idea that having to exercise while away would “be a drag” and that not working out would be a “true” vacation. However, once we looked at the reality of the situation, Emily realized that she loves the feeling of moving her body and that her days always get better when she exercises. By understanding that wherever you go, there you are, Emily knew that she’d be able to get more out of her vacation—and feel better—by bringing her good habits with her!