A few months ago, my client Jess was struggling. She had a sick family member, a stressful work period, and much of her time and energy were going to other people, not to herself. Unsurprisingly, her healthy eating suffered, and she wasn’t feeling great about her choices. Jess and I worked hard to help her re-prioritize her health goals and get back to making choices she felt good about. For the last couple of weeks, Jess once again felt like she had found firm footing and was in control of her eating.
When we met on Wednesday, things had changed. The previous Sunday, she was at an outdoor event and ended up having one too many glasses of wine. As a result, her eating got off track. Jess wasn’t able to rein it back in and didn’t feel great about how Monday or Tuesday went, either. “I thought I could do this, but maybe I can’t,” she said. This happens frequently with the people we work with: they get off track, and an off-track mentality takes over. A sense of hopelessness and helplessness kicks in, they lose confidence that they can do it, and they feel discouraged about their ability to ever reach their goals. This hopeless/helpless off-track mentality distorts their memories, and all they see are the mistakes they’ve made.
I reminded Jess, “On Saturday, just four days ago, you did great! You went to a dinner at your mom’s house and felt great about your choices. On Friday, five days ago, you did great! You stuck to your plan when you ate out for lunch. On Thursday, six days ago, you did great! You got in all your exercise and felt really good about your mindful eating. I know you absolutely can do this; you were doing it, and you will do it again.”
Since Jess got off track on Sunday her off-track mentality kicked in, Jess truly forgot about how great the last few weeks have been. She lost access to the fact that just four days ago she had a dynamite day and went to bed feeling great about her choices. I said to Jess what I say to anyone struggling with this: the off-track mentality lies to you. It tells you that you’re helpless and that this goal is hopeless. But it’s not. There is so much hope! You can do it. You will make mistakes and you will take backward steps, but as long as you keep trying, you will keep making progress. Don’t buy into the notion that you can’t do it. That’s just the off-track mentality clouding your vision. Keep pushing forward!